Stories of a Serial Dater: Some Thing’s Losing | HuffPost Chicago

The other day I found myself standing up lined up at Starbucks and having my personal the necessary Monday day caffeine fix, when a very good-looking guy, with a million dollar smile, helped me personally grab my personal charge card. I’d fallen it while purchasing a tall slim vanilla latte. He had been stunning. The minute his eyes came across mine, I was thinking my knees had been gonna buckle and that I was going to fall smack-dab to the muffin table. I thanked him and relocated out of line to wait for my personal early morning dependence on get ready. While I was wishing, he strolled over and introduced himself. Whenever Mr. Million money Smile achieves on his hand to introduce themselves, I observe an attractive pair of cuff-links, my male fashion weakness, and a rather macho pair of hands that gave a substantial handshake. I will be instantaneously putty when it comes to those macho arms. Whenever my coffee order ended up being known as, he reached over and got it, took completely a pen, and composed his quantity unofficially of my mug. Adorable, I know. He flashed me his hot grin one last time, and without stating a word, handed me my personal coffee-and was presented with.

We wait the required three days to phone him (yeah, you heard that right fellas, I’m able to have fun with the video game also). Mr. Million Dollar Smile and I have an excellent talk where he suggested we go see Citizen Cope from the home of Blues. I am more than thrilled. We came across at South Water Kitchen to grab an easy bite to eat ahead of the tv series and a container of drink. Once our very own meal came, I found myself a tad bit tipsy and already madly in love. I’m in the exact middle of a hysterical story (this would never be shocking to anyone) as I appeared to see him get a bite away from their hamburger as well as in it, you can find his teeth – those amazing teeth that offered him that million buck look – caught…in his hamburger.

I tried never to allow my shock and terror show, but whoever knows myself knows that my personal thoughts are written everywhere my face. He switched eight colors of red-colored and made an effort to clarify how they had gotten knocked out in a fight. What? My personal Prince Charming is actually a thug in cuff-links? Apparently, at some point in the existence he had been training for an Ultimate battling Championship and had the first seven leading teeth knocked-out during a fight and now wears untrue teeth that actually video into their lips. Hmmm. Now, I am not sure about yourself, but nothing claims beautiful in my experience like a man who’s only 32 and also phony teeth. We quickly have actually visions of him investing the evening and running over to see their teeth sitting in a cup of Efferdent Plus to my nightstand. We quietly scolded myself personally if you are therefore damn shallow and swore to block the vision of him toothless out of my head, and relish the remaining portion of the night with a sensible, funny and smart guy.

We head to our home of Blues, got some beers during the club, and pressed the way-up concise in which I happened to be forward and center with Citizen deal. Yum. The audience is having a great time, Citizen Cope had been vocal Sideways, and Mr. Million money Smile leaned over, got my hand, and pulled me personally set for a soap opera worthy kiss. I instantly had visions of our own breathtaking children, all of our bungalow style home in Naperville and exactly what autos we might drive since I have refuse to buy a mini-van, until Im snapped into real life utilizing the understanding that there ended up being anything during my mouth area… and it is maybe not my gum. We virtually vomited all over the floor, right there in front of Clarence Greenwood (the lead performer of Citizen Cope and a large chick) when I noticed that that which was in my lips had been his teeth. We shit you not. The next couple of minutes happened in slow-motion. He looked up at me, smiled this toothless grin, and began to state something about me having their teeth, and that I reflexively freaked-out and wished those teeth of my damn throat at the earliest opportunity, so I spit them so fast might have thought they certainly were poison. Poor action, Gena. Another 20 minutes or so had been invested attempting to google search the ground for this dark area with merely the mobiles as light and attempting not to disturb another concertgoers. Whenever we eventually found them, these people were covered in dust, dirt and a few severe bar grime. I was thoroughly disgusted, but not since disgusted as I was actually as he…wait because of it…then place them back in their mouth area – bar grime and all!

Yup, that’s all. I am away. Temporary clip in teeth I am able to manage (with booze), but I have to draw the range at bad hygiene. Does the guy kiss his mom with that throat? Ew. Ew. Ew.